10 Irrational Behaviors on Twitter that’d make you look crazy in Real Life
Tuesday, June 9, 2009 at 12:03PM 
1. Write letters to inanimate objects or brands: “Dear 34 Bus, if you don’t show up in ten minutes, I’m going to consider hitch hiking as a permanent solution to transportation.”
2. Repeating a statement word for word that was just said minutes before.
3. Following someone even though they don’t want to talk to you.
4. Walking into a crowd on Friday morning and shouting out the names of eight best friends.
5. Quietly handing someone a note that is asking them to join your Spymaster league.
6. Proving someone wrong in a debate by referring to statement they made exactly twenty-four days ago at 3:30pm CST.
7. Carrying a rubber stamp in your pocket and slamming the word “FAIL” on everything you don’t like.
8. Jumping out of an alley and responding to a question that someone asked someone else.
9. Taking real words and melding them together cleverly while NOT being a rapper.
10. Having 100,000 people walking behind you and you’re NOT the Verizon guy.
Reader Comments (51)
This is totally great! I'm trying so hard to think of more. banging head against the wall.. ummm okay i'll think of one.
Here are a few:
referring to ppl u meet on twitter but have never met as tho u know them
Twittering notes to yourself so u can reference them later
Asking a random stranger, hey are you gonna be in this area at this time? Wanna hang out?
Saying good night out loud to everyone and announcing your weekend plans. as well as good morning
* I had help from from @awesomefied72
showing your pictures to strangers
adding a #word-or-phrase in the middle of a conversation
speaking in 140 characters or less-- who are you? Calvin Coolidge?
If someone asks you a question. Respond an hour or 2 days later with no context to what you are talking about. :)
I think the saddest thing about all of these is that I've done all of them. Mostly just in relation to you Len.
Your thoughts become mental twitters that randomly escape your lips because you view real life as one giant twitter arena. The people on the bus, followers. Your house pets, followers too. The world is your personal twitter homepage. You tell yourself to tweet that later.
Starting a new language where every single word begins with "tw."
Great list!
@BestLight
Or how about instead of thinking, "this is a good idea" weighing it would be a good tweet or not.
umm I've done 1,4,7,8,9 oh and I own an Epic Fail stamp. It's much more effective!
I would add woot and FTW to this list. Where else, but on Twitter, would we think those are perfectly acceptable phrases to convey excitement? Ahh, Twitterville!
Heather (@prtini)
WOW! What a tremendous response to this silly little post. I'm honored. Thanks everyone for the great commentary and ideas.
This is so totally hilarious - and every single one of them are true! Seriously, I was cracking up down the list! Too funny, man!
Ok. I've used LOL and ROFLMAO before, but in reality all I've done is smile or grin at best.
This post had me LSHIWIWD (Laughing So Hard I Wish I'd Worn Depends). For real. Thank you!
You've forgotten one of the best. Name dropping.
You'd never tell everyone "Hey, I'm going to lunch with John!" then followed by John going, "Hey, I'm going to lunch w/ So-and-so!"
you tell me... I got in so much trouble when I said to a cop "if you follow me, I'll follow you back". just the polite thing to do, right?
Here's a few more:
* Have a big party at your house, but then tell all your guests that you're bummed because only 92 came. Ask them to phone their friends so you can reach the happy 100.
* see a guy reading the paper at a food fair in the mall & jump up on a table and belt out into a megaphone. "Hey everyone, this guys reading an article on the swine flu!"
* Interupt someone mid convo & say "That's waaay too long. Say it again shorter!"
I laughed so hard when I read this! SO FUNNY! I LOVE the "dear inanimate objects" letters because I do that daily...to Starbucks, to God, to Al Gore (who Twitters, BTW), to the squirrels that run out in front of my bike on the lakefront...
I also love the visual of 10,000 people actually following me in real life. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!
Telling everyone at work that I
Went to a Twitter Convention in Vegas over the weekend.
--Just to see the reaction & look on their faces.
PRICELESS!
Nice list. I'm whitening my teeth right now or I'd write more...
I wish I had a fail stamp to stamp on everything lol! @charlottehrb
follow celebrities around and shout responses at them every time they open their mouth.
LMFAO!!! I totally support doing number 7 in real life? Wouldn't it be awesome if we could red-stamp stuff we don't like with FAIL?
It would be a public service too because people who walk behind you and see it won't even have to bother getting their stamp out. Or they could stamp it in addition to you to show popular support for the fail.
LMFAO @ Glenn:
* Interupt someone mid convo & say "That's waaay too long. Say it again shorter!"
4 and 8 are LOL funny! And 3 is SO true...and irritating! LOL
I can't keep up with all the great comments/ideas. Thanks everyone for contributing. For my next post should I write the exact opposite?
"10 Things That would make you look crazy on Twitter that you do in Real Life?"
-Len
Those are great! I think the next post idea is a great one, wish I could help you start it off but I am about to TALK IN ALL CAPS to my kids that are fighting! :)
This is so bang-on. Someone read a poem I posted today
and directed me to your blog. Great minds think alike?
http://hgstewart.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/social-networking/
LOL
Eating a cheese sandwich. Out of mustard though.
Yes! I want to see "10 Things That would make you look crazy on Twitter that you do in Real Life?"
This is too funny.
A guy walks into a bar and says "Is the hashtag redsox hashtag yankees game going to be on the tv tonight?"
Thank you! I needed a good laugh and you've had me laughing loudly like a loon. My son will be here any moment with people in white coats and a net.
You can't walk around in 'real-life' blaming Drew's cancer for everything.
#blamedrewscancer
AWESOME. My favorite is the Friday idea! I think I might try it and see what happens...
please give a retweet this link =D))
Someone has tried it, on video
LOL! This list is great!
A few additions:
1a. Seeing an attractive person in public and following her/him FOREVER.
1b. Somehow managing to do this to EVERY attractive person you EVER see in public. (cameras? microphones?)
2. Speaking completely in abbreviations.
3. Yelling out expletives with no explanation of who or what you're talking about. ("GOD DAMN HIM!!!!!")
4. Telling people that something important is occurring at a particular street address, but then giving the address in an incomprehensible code that says nothing about where they might be going.
5. Constantly telling everyone you heart (not love) bacon, want a new handbag, etc. (and expecting them to care, of course)
6. Telling everyone on public buses that you're a Publicly Accessible Carriage Consultant, everyone on sidewalks that you're a Self-Propelled Forward Motion Consultant, etc. in the hopes that more people will listen to the opinions of someone with a quasi-professional sounding title.
7. Simultaneously displaying multiple personalities and telling people they can get rich within weeks, get laid tonight, etc. -- each of your personalities being solely qualified to teach them how to reach each unrealistic goal.
8. Telling people face-to-face that the best way to interact with you is to subscribe to your YouTube or Stickam feed.
Or telling all your friends how many friends you have, and how many you need to get to the next round number.
not that funny
Hilarious, in real life those would not be acceptable, yet on Twitter they are.......ah, how Twitter is changing the world!
I would add this one:
Waiting for something to happen each you press the Enter key...
Adding a # so you can try to have it become a trending topic. Alas I guess I'm just not that cool.
love the list.
David Letterman should do it on the Late Night.
#10 is funny!
LOL. You are right. In-real-life....we would never....online, in this format...a new reality...new behaviour norms.
So, wanna stalk a celb?
Okay, I realize I'm two weeks late reading this; but I just laughed so hard I had to say thanks. (And yes, am guilty of at least one or two of those. Ah well.)
I love number four. It's hilarious just thinking about it.
One more... Adding TW to everything, and thinking that's a normal way to talk.
i would totally do number 7 if i could get the appropriate stamp in a size large enough to make an impact.
#8 CRACKED me up! Great post :)
Thoroughly enjoyed your post. My personal pet tweeve (twitter peeve) is the tweep that keeps repeating 1 post, again, and again, and again. - morning, noon and night.